Stand by your man, Part 1.

Stand by Your Man

8 winning ways to encourage him

Annette LaPlaca

Most women do about 11 things at the same time (including talking on the phone)—especially if they're married with children! We get good at responsibility-juggling because wehave to: There's a job to manage, diapers to change, a house to clean, books to read, friends to reach out to, not to mention a husband to care for. We know how it feels to lose heart when we get burdened by too many responsibilities.

While your husband may not juggle the same number of details you do, the challenges he deals with are heavy ones, too—starting with a wife to love and serve, a career at which to succeed, even children to nurture. And, just like you, he can lose heart while carrying heavy responsibilities.

That's one of the reasons why God put people together in marriage—for mutual encouragement. Unfortunately, building up is harder work than demolishing, which comes all too naturally! But an encouraged husband makes a great life partner—he's more positive, responsive, and better equipped to work and serve your whole family.

You have an incredible ability to "make or break" your husband's day or week—or decade—by what you say and do. Here are a few ways to stand by your man and make him feel as though he's the greatest.

Say thanks.

If you find it hard to come up with ways to encourage your husband, saying thanks is a great place to start. If things are rocky just now and you don't feel particularly thankful for your husband (believe me, this happens!), start small. Thank him for holding open a door, picking up the newspaper after he's finished, or tucking your kids into bed.

Many women hold back grateful affirmations because they think,Why should I thank him for things he should do anyway?! The first reason to do it is because you've signed up for this gig (being his wife). The second is that your positive words pave the way for your husband to do more of the same.

At our house, I make a point of profusely thanking my husband, David, every time he gives the kids a bath or gets up with our early risers so I don't have to. These things still don't happen as often as I'd like them to, but that's not stopping me from expressing my gratitude when David does come through.

Know your man.

What are his strong points? His weak ones? Become an expert on your spouse.

Maybe your husband's a wonderful father. Or maybe he's a good financial provider. But unless you're married to Mr. Perfect Guy, he probably struggles somewhere, too. Does your husband have a quick temper? Does he spend too much money—or time on the computer? While these are points for prayer, they're also areas in which encouragement can make a difference.

Develop a sharp eye for noticing small steps in positive directions, then encourage your husband in them. Every time I see my husband, David, who tends to be a spender, make an effort to save money, I notice it out loud. I tell him how much I appreciate him disciplining himself for some of our long-term goals instead of dropping cash at the local hardware store every Saturday.